Asking Eric: Memory issues threaten relationship with hairstylist

As we navigate our mid-60s, keeping a strict schedule can sometimes become a challenge. A reader recently wrote into 205focus.com seeking advice after recurring memory slips caused them to repeatedly miss appointments with their hairstylist. Despite previous attempts to make amends—including double tipping, offering compensation for missed slots, and providing thoughtful gifts—the situation has left the client feeling mortified and unsure of their next move.

Finding a way forward

R. Eric Thomas encourages the reader not to abandon the relationship just yet. The key is maintaining professional accountability. Even if the stylist is gracious, proactively offering to pay for the missed time is a powerful gesture. It demonstrates respect for the stylist's livelihood and ensures the business relationship remains on solid ground.

To prevent future mishaps, communication is essential. Thomas suggests being transparent about memory concerns when booking. Proposing a collaborative solution—such as asking the stylist for a gentle reminder to write the appointment down before leaving or booking a series of sessions at once—can create a helpful safety net.

Managing the memory gap

While the embarrassment is real, remember that these lapses are often beyond one's immediate control. Beyond salon etiquette, it is wise to consult with a medical professional regarding these memory slips to explore better ways to manage and cope with them. Practical habits, such as keeping a physical note to log appointments before exiting the shop, can also provide the extra structure needed to stay on track.

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Have a question for R. Eric Thomas? Send it to eric@askingeric.com or mail to P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. You can also follow his updates on Instagram or sign up for his newsletter at rericthomas.com.