Dear Annie: My teenage daughter said she’s getting married this summer

Dear Annie: A concerned parent recently reached out to us with a difficult dilemma: their 19-year-old daughter, who turns 20 in July, has announced plans to marry this summer. The daughter, a sophomore at Charleston College, met a 24-year-old graduate student teaching English and claims he is her soul mate. The couple hopes to head back to campus in the fall as husband and wife, leaving the parents in the dark regarding how the two plan to support themselves.

The Parental Dilemma

The parents have already voiced their disapproval, labeling the decision a mistake. They are now wondering if they should continue to push back against the impending nuptials. Disapproving remains worried about the lack of a financial plan for the young couple.

Annie’s Advice

In response, Annie Lane suggests having a direct, candid conversation with your daughter about why you believe she is rushing into marriage. Remind her that if they truly are soul mates, waiting until she finishes her degree will not hurt their relationship.

However, if she remains determined, Annie advises a strategy of support through love rather than finances. Nineteen is an age where young adults begin navigating their own paths and, occasionally, their own mistakes. Make it clear that your financial support will not extend to this marriage. True adult freedom must be balanced with the responsibility of self-sufficiency.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.