Asking Eric: Coworker’s lies fracture relationship
A worker feels betrayed by a colleague who let them take the blame and wonders whether to finish a promised personal gift or set a boundary.
Liam Carter 
Workplace dynamics can be tricky, especially when a colleague’s behavior crosses the line from merely challenging to genuinely untrustworthy. One reader recently wrote into Asking Eric regarding a coworker named James—a man known for unpredictable moods and frequent errors—who recently threw them under the bus. Despite a history of professional friction, the reader had agreed to craft a custom wood carving for James to memorialize a lost loved one. That gesture of goodwill backfired when James allowed their boss to blame the reader for a confidential leak that James himself had caused, staying silent for a full 20-minute conversation while his colleague took the fall.
Setting Boundaries in the Workplace
After the reader cleared their name and confronted James, he offered no apology, leaving the reader to wonder: Is it petty to pull the plug on the wood carving project? R. Eric Thomas notes that while the desire for retribution is understandable, handing over an unfinished project is unlikely to provide the resolution the reader needs. In a tight-knit department, navigating this with professionalism is the smarter play.
Professional Next Steps
Thomas suggests a direct, calm approach to address the broken trust. The reader is encouraged to express exactly how the betrayal impacted the working relationship, explaining clearly that the breach of confidence makes it impossible to continue with the personal favor. By clearly stating, “I don’t feel comfortable doing outside projects for you,” the reader can reclaim their agency without engaging in petty behavior.
Beyond the personal project, it is vital to ensure the air is clear with management. While the reader shouldn’t spend their time reporting every move James makes, establishing open communication with the boss is a necessary safety net. Since James has shown a willingness to lie by omission, keeping those lines of communication strong is essential for the reader's own professional reputation.
Read more from Asking Eric and explore other advice columns on 205focus.com.
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
