Asking Eric: Grandparents want to stop paying for partying granddaughter’s education
Grandparents funding college worry about setting academic expectations after their granddaughter prioritizes social life over schoolwork.
Liam Carter 
Dear Eric: My wife and I are footing the bill for our granddaughter’s college education, but the situation has turned frustrating. Over the last two years, she has prioritized sorority social life and vacations over her studies. The result? A poor GPA and the need to repeat two courses. Do we have the right to demand better academic performance under threat of withdrawing our financial support?
– Funding Granddad
Setting Boundaries and Expectations
Dear Granddad: You absolutely have the right to set expectations. While these tuition payments might have begun as a gift, providing financial backing for an education naturally comes with reasonable standards. Because she is currently failing to meet the college's own benchmarks, it is entirely appropriate for you to initiate a recalibrating conversation with both her and her parents.
Success in this conversation requires shifting the focus toward shared goals. You need to identify what she actually wants to accomplish during her time at school. If she is disinterested in her major or failing to engage with her coursework, your money and her time are being wasted. It may be that she requires guidance to realize that college is not just a plug-and-play experience; it requires active participation.
Defining Success Beyond the GPA
While academic performance matters, consider discussing alternative metrics of success with your granddaughter. Allowing her to have a voice in defining these goals can help foster the maturity she currently lacks. Challenging her to take an active, accountable role in her own education is a vital step toward adulthood.
Find more insights from R. Eric Thomas by exploring the Asking Eric archives or browsing other advice columns on 205focus.com.
Have a question? Send it to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or via mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. You can also follow him on Instagram or subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
