Miss Manners: I hosted a birthday dinner and my guests took advantage of me
A host paid for a birthday dinner at a restaurant where guests ordered excessive small plates “for the table,” ate less than half, and took home the leftovers.
Liam Carter 
A birthday celebration for a husband at a favorite restaurant turned into a lesson in bad manners when a pair of guests decided to treat the host's generosity as a personal grocery run. The dinner party, consisting of the host, her husband, a couple, and a single man, hit a snag early when the couple suggested ordering multiple small plates for the table.
Despite the host and the other guest clearly declining and choosing to order their own individual entrees, the couple went ahead and ordered an excessive amount of shared dishes. Claiming they were ordering “for the table,” they ignored the host's second refusal to participate in the shared-plate plan.
The Leftover Looting
The situation worsened when the meal concluded. While the host and the other guests finished their meals, the couple ate less than half of the small plates they had ordered. They then requested boxes to take home the remaining food as “their” leftovers before ordering dessert, leaving the host to foot the bill for their future meals.
The host, feeling taken advantage of by frequent diners who were well aware of the restaurant's portion sizes, reached out to Miss Manners to ask if the situation should have been handled differently. The recommendation was swift: there is no need to invite them again.
Miss Manners Weighs In
Writing for 205focus.com, Judith Martin (Miss Manners) noted that she has seen a rise in reports of guests cadging future meals at the expense of their hosts. Whether it is ordering extra food at a restaurant or commandeering unoffered leftovers at a home dinner, the behavior is described as “petty thievery” and an insult to the spirit of hospitality.
The expert verdict? Striking such perpetrators from your social circle is the only appropriate response to this level of entitlement.
If you have questions regarding etiquette, you can reach out to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, via email at dearmissmanners@gmail.com, or by postal mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
