Asking Eric: HOA dispute over neighbor’s mango tree on property line
A homeowner seeks advice on addressing an HOA rule violation after a neighbor planted a mango tree on the property line that may cause future pest problems.
Liam Carter 
Navigating Neighborly Boundaries
One homeowner is currently facing a delicate situation involving a neighbor and an encroaching mango tree. The reader explains that a few years ago, the neighbor planted the tree directly on the property line, which runs afoul of their HOA’s strict two-foot setback requirement for fruit-bearing trees. With the tree growing rapidly, the homeowner is worried about potential future nuisances, specifically regarding pests, and is weighing whether to request its removal.
R. Eric Thomas suggests that because the neighbor planted the tree, she is unlikely to view it as a problem without tangible evidence of an issue. While the violation of HOA rules is clear, the advisor notes that asking the neighbor to move the tree before it matures further could help avoid a personal confrontation. However, since such a request might cause friction, Thomas recommends the most straightforward path: consulting the HOA directly. The association is equipped with the proper protocols to address rule violations and resolve the dispute officially.
Addressing Friendship and Misunderstandings
In a separate inquiry, a reader is struggling with a fallout in a long-term friendship. After texting their friend, Steve, to compare him to a respected and attractive actor, the reader was surprised to be accused of making a racist comment. The reader maintains the comparison was intended as a genuine compliment, highlighting the actor’s good character and family life, and has refused to retract the statement.
Thomas advises that the most effective way to handle this is for the reader to express that no harm was intended and offer an apology for the offense caused. This simple gesture could stop the conflict from escalating unnecessarily. Thomas points out that if the friend doesn't see the resemblance or perceives the comment differently, it may signal a disconnect in how they view each other's complexity. Rather than arguing over the actor, Thomas suggests using this as an opening for a deeper, non-charged conversation about their friendship and understanding each other's perspectives better.
Get More Advice
For more insights, read more from Asking Eric and check out other advice columns hosted on 205focus.com.
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
