Asking Eric: Injury prompts rude questions
A man questions whether he was rude after curtly declining to discuss his injury with a joking store clerk and feeling unsettled by her reaction.
Liam Carter 
In this installment of Asking Eric, R. Eric Thomas tackles two difficult situations: a reader dealing with invasive questions about a physical injury and a woman navigating a complex family dynamic involving her aging mother and an injured son.
Boundaries and Store Clerks
A reader, who recently suffered multiple fractures to his wrists and forearms, found himself in a tense exchange at a local store. While waiting in line, a store clerk loudly questioned him about his injuries. Feeling vulnerable and self-conscious, the reader replied that he did not feel like discussing it. The clerk reacted by closing her register and walking away. When the reader later attempted to offer an apology, the clerk repeated that behavior.
Eric advises the reader that asserting a boundary is not inherently rude. While the clerk may have intended her inquiry as lighthearted small talk, the reader had no obligation to share his medical history. The clerk's refusal to accept his follow-up apology suggests that further engagement was not warranted.
Navigating Domestic Tensions
In a separate inquiry, a reader faces a stressful home environment. Her 75-year-old mother, who moved in five years ago with promises to finance an addition to the home, has not followed through and is now out of funds. This coincides with the reader's son recently becoming paraplegic following a spinal cord injury. The mother has begun claiming helplessness, which the reader suspects is an act of emotional manipulation aimed at securing more attention.
Eric suggests that the reader consider whether a senior living community or nursing home could provide the mother with independence and care, while noting that the mother's manipulative patterns may persist regardless of the setting. He emphasizes that the family's primary energy must remain focused on the son’s recovery, and encourages the reader to involve the mother in logistical planning if she insists on moving.
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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
