Dear Abby: I’m tired of friends extending our invitations to people we didn’t invite

Hosts are frustrated that close friends repeatedly expand their invitations to include other people. They want to address it without damaging the friendship or hurting anyone’s feelings.

Dear Abby: I’m tired of friends extending our invitations to people we didn’t invite

Dear Abby: We have a close circle of friends we enjoy spending time with, but there is a recurring issue. Every time we extend an invitation, they assume it is an open door to invite others along. This pattern has hit a breaking point with our latest plan: a multi-day trip to our lake house. Our friends have asked to bring their adult son and his girlfriend. While we are fond of their son, we are not acquainted with his girlfriend, and we are struggling with how to handle this without causing friction.

We truly value these friendships, but we are exhausted by having our invitations treated as group events. How can we set clear boundaries and stop this behavior without hurting anyone's feelings?

— Gracious Southerners

Abby’s Take

Dear Gracious: Let’s be clear: what this couple is doing is simply rude. You need to address this head-on. Tell them that while you care for them and their son, you are not comfortable hosting someone you haven't met for an entire weekend. Give them a moment to process your stance.

Moving forward, you must be firm. The next time they try to expand your guest list, clearly explain that your invitation was intended for them alone.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.