Dear Abby: My husband treats me like an outsider when it comes to updates about his family
A wife feels excluded when her husband withholds updates about his family, including serious news about his son. She wants him to understand that she considers herself part of his family now.
Liam Carter 
In this edition of Dear Abby, a reader known as Merged in Minnesota shares a frustrating dynamic within her marriage. Having been with her husband, Evan, for five years and married for two and a half, she expresses concerns about being kept at arm's length regarding his side of the family. The couple, both in their early 40s, navigate life with children from previous relationships, yet the wife feels like an outsider when it comes to critical updates.
Navigating Family Communication
The reader specifically points to the situation surrounding her 19-year-old stepson, who struggles with depression and alcohol issues. When Evan receives updates about his son, he offers only vague snippets or says nothing at all, often shutting down the conversation entirely. Despite the wife's genuine worry and previous attempts to address this feeling of exclusion, the pattern of communication has not changed.
Abby's Perspective
Abigail Van Buren notes that the struggle may stem from the fact that not all partners are effective communicators. She cautions the wife against constantly trying to extract information from Evan. Instead, since she is a full-fledged member of the family, Abby suggests that she might find more success by approaching the young man directly for updates rather than waiting for reports through her husband.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
