Dear Annie: My boyfriend works in healthcare but can’t stop vaping

Dear Annie: My father passed away from lung cancer a few years ago, leaving me with a deep-seated hatred for smoking in any capacity. That is why I was absolutely blindsided to discover that my boyfriend—who works as a nurse—has been secretly vaping. What hurts the most isn't just the act itself, but the fact that he went to such lengths to conceal it. Given his medical background, he certainly should know the risks involved.

When I initially confronted him, he admitted he was using vapes to manage the immense pressure he faces at work and promised to quit. However, my trust was shattered when I recently found new vaping pens in his apartment. Between the habit and the dishonesty, I feel completely devastated. I’m left wondering: Is this grounds to call it quits? — Betrayed

Annie’s Perspective

Dear Reader: It is clear that your boyfriend is struggling with both addiction and a heavy sense of shame. He is well aware that his behavior is problematic, but knowing better does not always make it easy to do better. He likely feels too intimidated to ask for your support, knowing your personal history with lung cancer and your firm stance on smoking.

Rather than reacting with anger or walking away immediately, consider offering him a path toward help. He may need guidance finding support groups for his addiction or developing healthier, more effective ways to manage his professional stress.

Read more from Dear Annie and explore other advice columns on 205focus.com.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology—featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication, and reconciliation—is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.