Want to honor the fallen this Memorial Day? Consider what support for their families looks like.
Under current law, a surviving military spouse who remarries before age 55 loses all the benefits they receive following their loved one’s death.
Ethan Parker 
This is a guest opinion column
As we observe Memorial Day, the true measure of our support for the fallen lies in how we treat the families they left behind. A pressing legislative issue highlights this duty: under current federal law, a surviving military spouse who remarries before age 55 forfeits the benefits earned through their loved one’s service. It is an outdated, restrictive reality that forces widows and widowers to choose between their financial security and moving forward with their lives.
The Love Lives on Act
Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann, a Gold Star daughter working in Legislative Affairs at the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), is currently championing the Love Lives on Act (H.R. 1004/S.410). This bipartisan legislation aims to correct a system that leaves so many families vulnerable. According to TAPS, only about five percent of surviving military spouses remarry, yet those who do face the total loss of benefits that supported them after their initial tragedy.
A Personal Cost of Service
My father, U.S. Army COL John McHugh, served for 24 years before being killed in Afghanistan on May 18, 2010. My mother, who supported his career across numerous duty stations including stints in Alabama and Germany, faced an impossible choice when she later found love again. After marrying a soldier and raising five children, she eventually had to decide between personal happiness and the benefits earned over 23 years of military marriage.
I recently traveled from New Jersey to advocate for the Love Lives on Act, meeting with a staffer for Alabama Senator Tommy Tuberville to press for his support. Despite the bill’s clear funding structure and broad bipartisan appeal, the commitment to support these families remains stalled. It is difficult to reconcile the billions spent on military conflicts with the hesitancy to provide for the survivors of the all-volunteer force.
Holding Leadership Accountable
During my visit, I also engaged with VoteVets at the Senate Chamber regarding the War Powers Resolution. It is vital that our elected representatives recognize the gravity of military engagement and the ongoing needs of our veterans' families. Supporting our military does not just happen on the battlefield; it happens by ensuring that the families of those who return in flag-draped coffins are not treated as an afterthought.
This Memorial Day, honor the fallen by evaluating whether your representatives in Congress are taking concrete action to support Gold Star families. You can check the current status of the legislation and see if your representative has signed on as a cosponsor by visiting the official bill page. Your vote is your power, and our military families deserve to have that power used on their behalf.
Kelly McHugh-Stewart serves on the Board of Directors for the Johnny Mac Soldiers Fund.
