Miss Manners: How do I handle people who chat through outdoor concerts?
A concertgoer is frustrated by nearby audience members who talked throughout an entire outdoor performance and wonders how to handle such situations without creating a scene.
Liam Carter 
Summer concert season is nearly upon us, and while the music promises to be top-tier, the audience behavior often leaves something to be desired. A concerned reader recently wrote to 205focus.com to vent about the frustrations of outdoor shows, where casual picnic-goers treat orchestral performances like background noise for their personal conversations.
The Battle for Concert Etiquette
The reader described a particularly taxing experience involving a group of six at a permanent picnic table who treated the venue—complete with a pops orchestra playing the “Magic Flute” overture and “Bugler’s Holiday”—as their own dining room. While hundreds of others sat in lawn chairs or on benches hoping to enjoy the music, this group chatted away, making it difficult for neighbors to focus on the performance.
Recognizing the need for anger management, the concertgoer opted against a confrontation, eventually offering only a subtle “shh” gesture halfway through the show. It is a common dilemma: how do you deal with those who don't seem to realize they are at a concert, rather than a backyard cookout?
Miss Manners Weighs In
Miss Manners commends the reader for their restraint, noting that avoiding a scene is generally the best approach. Outdoor settings often lead people to mistakenly believe the music is merely atmospheric, causing them to lapse in their manners.
While it can be hard to swallow, the advice is to remain sympathetic to those whose attention may have simply drifted. If you find yourself in a similar spot, try combining a steady gaze with a polite, head-tilted expression of low-key sympathy—a look that suggests you are merely dealing with a minor, unfortunate inconvenience.
Do you have a manners question? Please send your inquiries to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, via email to dearmissmanners@gmail.com, or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
