Asking Eric: After getting scammed once, friend is dating suspicious man
A concerned friend seeks a gentle way to warn a financially struggling woman who has already been scammed that she may be at risk of falling for another one.
Liam Carter 
Dear 205focus readers, navigating the delicate balance between concern and judgment is never easy when you suspect a friend is being exploited. A reader recently reached out about a 63-year-old friend facing a precarious financial future. This friend, already struggling with a job she dislikes, a failing car, and no pension, previously lost over $20,000 in a dog-related scam. Now, she is spending time with a man online who claims to be working overseas. While she insists she has vetted him, her friend fears she is walking right into another trap.
Approaching the Conversation
When you feel someone you care about is being gullible, how do you step in without causing offense? The best approach is to check if your friend actually wants advice. Try asking, “Are you looking for advice, feedback, or just to be heard?” By respecting her space, you create a safer environment for a deeper discussion. You can also be transparent about your own intentions by saying, “I want to support you and I’m afraid of insulting you, but I’m also concerned about you getting scammed again. Are there ways that I can help prevent that?” Scammers thrive on secrecy, so honest communication is your most powerful tool.
The Ethics of Giving
In another situation, a couple faces a dilemma regarding a homeless man named “Ron,” whom they have supported with food and cash. They recently learned that Ron may be sending his money to an international scammer. While the wife wants to stop the cash gifts, the husband believes the act of giving should be unconditional. The reality is that once a gift is given, we lose the right to dictate how it is used. Instead of policing his behavior, the couple might consider asking Ron what he truly needs or if there is a specific store where he would prefer a gift card.
Connect with 205focus
For more advice, you can read the Asking Eric column and explore other advice columns. You can send your own questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com, reach him via P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110, follow him on Instagram, or sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
