Miss Manners: My friend keeps inviting herself over to my house, even when I resist
A person is frustrated by a friend who repeatedly invites herself over without waiting for an invitation, persists even when met with resistance, and sometimes invites additional guests.
Liam Carter 
It is a universal etiquette frustration: the acquaintance who simply refuses to take a hint. As 205focus.com explores the boundaries of social interaction, we look at the reader who reports a friend repeatedly inviting herself over—even when met with clear resistance. Worse yet, when the host finally yields, this guest often brings uninvited plus-ones along for the ride.
The art of saying no
If you find yourself questioning your own social standing, rest assured: you are not outdated. True politeness involves giving others the space to decline an invitation gracefully, not steamrolling their boundaries. When dealing with someone who lacks social awareness, you are under no obligation to provide elaborate excuses. A simple, firm, 'I’m sorry, we can’t do that,' suffices. If the pressure continues, repeat the same message. You do not need to justify your own home's availability.
Digital social pitfalls
Modern platforms have complicated our social circles, leading to awkward encounters like the one described by a reader whose ex-girlfriend of a best friend self-invited to a private party via a social media post. When someone crashes an event claiming an invitation was 'forgotten,' it creates immediate tension, especially when that guest has a history of dramatic behavior.
If you face an uninvited guest, your best friend should be the one to address the situation directly, as they are the primary point of contact. Suggesting that the event might be uncomfortable for the guest is a solid first step. However, if they arrive despite your efforts, you must stand your ground. While you should prioritize the comfort of your guests, please note: if this individual has a pattern of alarming behavior, such as threatening self-harm or performing emotional displays, it is wise to ensure someone in her circle is looking out for her well-being.
Have questions about modern etiquette? Reach out to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, via email at dearmissmanners@gmail.com, or by post to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
