Asking Eric: Sister ghosts brother and mother over politics
A man seeks help accepting his sister’s repeated, politically driven estrangement so he can focus on the relationships that remain present and loving.
Liam Carter 
In the latest installment of Asking Eric for 205focus.com, R. Eric Thomas addresses a painful reality: navigating family estrangement fueled by political division. A 70-year-old reader finds himself at a crossroads after being ghosted by his 68-year-old sister, a pattern that first emerged following the 2016 election.
A Cycle of Silence
The reader explains that after the 2024 election, his sister cut off all communication, ignoring birthdays, holidays, and even his personal updates regarding a major surgery. This follows a previous two-year period of estrangement where she ghosted both the writer and their mother, who was 82 at the time. Despite the reader reaching out with a heartfelt plea to accept one another as they are, the silence remains unbroken.
Finding Peace in the Present
While the reader admits to feeling melancholy, he is clear about his priorities. Having built a full life that includes a loving marriage, children, grandchildren, and a supportive circle of friends, he is looking for ways to stop chasing a relationship that isn't currently available. He wants to redirect his energy toward the family that is present and nurturing.
Advice for Moving Forward
R. Eric Thomas notes that this is a difficult but not uncommon struggle in the current political climate. He emphasizes that while healthy relationships should ideally hold space for empathy and divergence, sometimes the damage runs deeper than the most recent argument. Thomas encourages the reader to view the process through the lens of grief rather than a problem to be solved.
By acknowledging the loss and intentionally processing those emotions, the reader can release the burden of trying to "fix" a dynamic that isn't currently functional. As Thomas suggests, the goal is to incorporate this new reality into his life, allowing him to focus on the connections that remain active and loving.
Stay Connected
Read more from Asking Eric and explore other advice columns. You can send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or reach out via mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram or sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
