Dear Abby: Boyfriend with irregular income may bring his mom into my home
A woman is unsure whether to let her boyfriend move in after he faces eviction for unpaid rent. She is also worried because his mother, who has memory problems, lives with him.
Liam Carter 
Dating for 10 months can feel like a lifetime, but it is rarely enough time to untangle the complexities of a partner's financial and family crises. One reader writing to Dear Abby finds herself at a crossroads: her boyfriend, who once adamantly opposed moving in together, is now facing eviction due to unpaid rent and is suddenly pushing to move into her home.
A Cautionary Tale of Financial Dependency
The situation is further complicated by the boyfriend's reliance on commission-only income and his lack of initiative in securing steady work, despite the reader's ongoing encouragement to pick up a second job. To make matters more difficult, he is currently living with his mother, who suffers from memory problems. The reader is rightfully concerned that she is being eyed as a financial safety net and is worried about the inevitable turmoil such an arrangement would invite.
Abby's advice is clear: The reader’s generosity risks turning into a long-term headache. With the mother’s health needs and the boyfriend’s inability to manage his own bills, the setup is a recipe for disaster. The boyfriend needs to resolve his housing and income issues independently rather than offloading his responsibilities onto his partner.
Navigating Past Financial Trauma
In a separate letter, another reader is struggling with the prospect of moving in with a partner who has a history of poor financial management. Having previously been married to a man who left her with significant tax issues, this reader is understandably wary. Her current partner is $80,000 in debt, possesses no savings, and displays a volatile temper—yet she fears ending the relationship due to the dread of being alone.
Abby warns that repeating history is a dangerous game. For anyone considering merging finances or households with a partner prone to debt and temper issues, legal protection is non-negotiable. Abby advises that if marriage is even a distant possibility, a prenuptial agreement is essential. Above all, she reminds the reader that being alone is far preferable to being tied to a person who lacks financial stability and emotional control.
More Advice
For more insights, read the latest from Dear Abby and browse other advice columns here on 205focus.com.
