Dear Abby: Is my sister-in-law falling for an online scammer?
A person is concerned that their sister-in-law is being financially scammed by someone she only texts with and has never met in person.
Liam Carter 
Dear Abby, a concerned reader writes in regarding their sister-in-law, “Carla,” who has been involved in a digital relationship with a “girlfriend” named “Susan” for an entire year. Despite the length of the relationship, the pair has never met or spoken voice-to-voice. Carla maintains they are destined for marriage, yet every attempt to coordinate a meeting falls through. When questioned about why they cannot communicate via phone or FaceTime, Carla offers only vague, confusing excuses.
A Pattern of Red Flags
The situation took a turn for the worse when Carla committed to visiting family to assist during a surgery recovery. After the reader's husband purchased a plane ticket for her, Carla backed out because “Susan” couldn't travel on that specific date. She eventually arrived a week late—solo—and recently admitted she was searching for gift cards to send to her elusive partner. The reader is now struggling with whether to intervene or stay out of the family drama.
Expert Advice on Romance Scams
Abby notes that this scenario is a textbook case of a romance scam or “catfishing.” The refusal to speak on the phone or participate in a video call is a massive red flag, often indicating that the individual is not who they claim to be. The constant postponement of meetings and the request for gift cards are classic tactics used by scammers to extract money from victims.
Because romance scams are so prevalent, the FBI maintains a specialized unit to handle these cases. Victims are encouraged to file reports through the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center. Abby’s advice to the reader is clear: Carla should cut all contact with this person immediately and report the situation to the authorities.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
